Today I was humbled to learn an amazing lesson from one of my favorite people and they didn’t have to do a thing.
I found myself letting my past run my future…well that is, until a huge light bulb went off.
I had been waiting for a friend to call me back so we could get together and catch up over some coffee. We both have lots going on in our lives and I knew that I really valued her opinion, so it meant a lot to me.
By late morning I still had not heard back from my friend. I started feeling frustrated and a little hurt, which over the next few hours seemed to intensify. I could not figure out what to do, as I had already left a text and a voicemail, but yet had still not head anything.
My intuition told me there was a better way to handle this situation….but was not sure how. So I did what I normally do when wanting to learn and started writing in my journal, getting my thoughts out of my head and on to paper…a cleansing for my soul.
The writing started out like this “…what is really going on with this situation. why do I feel so frustrated when I know neither of us have done anything wrong?” As I continued to write, digging deeper into what was going on in my head I put down the sentence “feeling this way because this is how others have treated me in the past.” I found myself grouping this experience with the painful outcomes from past situations for no reason at all.
Then I realized that I was choosing to feel this frustration, no one was doing anything to me, certainly not my friend. I had made a conscious decision to play the victim.
The first breakthrough was in my choosing to take responsibility. Done. I know I am the only one who can make me happy or sad. Period. How I feel in any moment is the meaning I choose to give it….but something still did not feel right…so I kept writing….
Then it hit me like a ton of bricks. Throughout this entire conversation I was having with myself I was attaching my past negative experiences to this situation, when my friend had done absolutely nothing wrong. In fact nothing was wrong, this was a brand new experience.
We as humans have no reference for the future, other then using our experiences.
When you hold a treat out for a dog, no matter how many treats they have had in their life, it is as if this was the first time, they truly see the gift in that moment.
The HUGE lesson I learned was by my projecting experiences on to the current situation I was bringing old baggage, and missing out on the experience of seeing the joy within this moment and this wonderful friendship.
To my amazing friend – You continue to teach me so much, what an unexpected gift you are…thank you.
“There are two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.” — Albert Einstein